Friends! How we all wish we had them! Especially when you begin to realize that all you are ever going to need to succeed in life is people! Why is that? You ask.
Simply because people are needed to help you attain your God-given dreams. Think about it, when you were in school, you needed friends you could play with and even maybe study with.
People are at the heart of sweet and loving relationships. People are at the heart of great and successful businesses. People are the spirit and the driving force of a nation. People are the customers in your business. People are the staff in your business. People are the investors of your business. People are the partners of your business. People are the activists in our nation. People are the political leaders of our nation.
Someone once said that “People are the hardest things to manage”. We can easily manage money and property with some education but people require more devotion and commitment to learn about.
Learning about people can be very tough and exciting simultaneously. Though getting educated about people is far easier than money considering the overly simplistic theories that linger outside there about them but you may discover that many people are still at a loss when it comes to the issue of people. That of course, may be the result of the fact that people are not things, or at least non-living things. We are living things that emote and very unlike animals we have spirits by and through which we relate with each other.
So in life, people are the best things you can ever have but to have people you’ll need some extra-effort. You’ll have a better understanding of that statement when you consider the fact that the author Napoleon Hill took out 25 years out of his life to study some 200 of the social strata of a specific set of people in his country!
And what if I told you that I personally am about clocking my tenth year in my research and study in people; what makes people tick and how to get through to them. This means that almost entire lifetimes will be required in the deepest and most accurate study of people.
The problem with that much long study is that people may not appreciate as they should the various observations and principles that come out of it. This is due to the fact that such long studies usually doesn’t end with conventionally long reports by the researchers but with sheer, unassumingly simple statements like “Think and Grow Rich”, “Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman” and “Money won’t Make You Rich”.
That is why I want to introduce us to these 3 Simple but Powerful Magical Statements of all time which has worked wonders from palaces to prisons, they are the words that made Joseph the supervisor in prison, they were the very words that took him out of prison, they were the words that brought him before pharaoh, they were the words that made him a prime minister in his world.
They are the words that elevated Gaius Julius Caesar to becoming the Emperor of the Roman Empire at the very beginning of a new age. These words brought favor to Esther in the face of The Persian Emperor ArtaXerxes(Ahasuerus).
Having known a little about the magnitude of those words let us proceed by saying that humans live for one and only one thing only: Respect! Don’t let anybody deceive you or cajole you with words creamed with sugar. We all want some respect and can give anything to have someone honour us.
In fact, nobody wants to go where they are not wanted, where they are not respected and where they are not deeply appreciated unless the circumstances of life are insisting otherwise.
In the same vein nobody befriends someone who either consciously or unconsciously dehumanizes them, depresses them and deflates their ego.
Let’s face it, nobody and I mean nobody (including myself) likes to be humiliated, stigmatized, isolated for derision, criticized or even plagiarized.
So dear, when it comes to the human realm, ego is the keyword; it is the catchphrase. Ego is what literally opens doors and makes you much more money than you can ever imagine.
Just try this! In fact, I want you to try it now! Stop reading and try to walk up to somebody around you and tell the language that you know they can understand that they are the sweetest thing you have glued your eyes on today and they have been the greatest part of your day ever!
I bet most (if not all) of them will blush at you and just say a nice and warm ‘thank you’. Now if you happen to need them later in the day, I bet they’ll literally jump out of their skins to help you out.
That is one good reason I have never had to be physically involved in a fistfight. Because people around me stand up for me and ‘discipline’ whoever was disturbing my peace. Now that was in my high school days! And that was only a minute faction of the whole story of how people stood for me in my defence, in my favor, in my stead back in those days.
Of course, today people have become even more interested in me as I have also become even more interested in them.
People need somebody around them to lift up their ego. This explains why the Kings of France had their so-called “Special Advisers” and the Emperors of Asia had their so-called “Most Trusted Advisers” whose had it as their major duty to extol the King beyond his human ability.
The sole duty of palace courtiers is to praise and magnify the King above all others. The Emperors of the Ancient World had as friends as the case may be men who considered it their lifelong duty to lavish their praises only and only on the king.
So here goes the 3 Magical Statements that can make the world which if and when not spoken can mar the world; PLEASE, SORRY, THANK YOU!
We start with the word, ‘PLEASE’
- PLEASE: Please is the card you pull when you want to make a request of somebody. There is an ‘harshness’ that comes with making a request. Like I have said people are egoistic, ego-masters and are ego-driven. We want to be sure at all times that we are the True Masters of the Universe and nothing and absolutely nothing can and will happen without our own command.
As a matter of fact, if anything rises up that makes it look like this our belief is false, we feel broken and our ego is deflated. So someone walking up to us and making demands of us without the corresponding remark that perfectly reminds us of our majestic self punctures our puffed ego balloon and has made us into something of slaves; subjects of another(the person making the request).
“People don’t really care what you do or do not do. People do not care what you say or do not say. You see, what people care about is how you made them feel”.-SOAL
“You become an important person to the person you have successfully made important and you are very important to the person you had made feel very important.”-SOAL
Considering the above observations, you would not even want to bother another human being by making request of him/her. And yet we need to make request of one another each and everyday.
So how exactly are we supposed to make such requests? We are to make requests of people as we would be expected to ask the favor of a king’s intervention in an helpless situation.
The word, ‘PLEASE’ may seem so ephemeral and too simple to evoke any changes in your life and family but I need to remind you that the most powerful things of your life usually are not significant at first glance and look and sound too simple.
Now to illustrate, using a typical statement-
1. “Daniel, give me that bag!”-It sounds like, ‘You son-of-a-what-have-you, you brat, you good for nothing idiot, you had better give me that bag or I will have to do something to you that you will regret forever!’.
Now, that is surely not (in most cases) the intended interpretation by the speaker but that was probably how erroneously the message was received by the hearer, in this case, Daniel.
Making statements like these depresses people, makes them feel like slaves.
2. Now let us go on to correct that statement and avert the calamity it could have caused by simply adding a simple ‘Please’. “Daniel, please give me that bag.”
Will make Daniel more willing to respond because you have approached his mightiness as you would a real king. ‘Please’, you must note, is an overly used word.
It has become so overused that to emphasize its masterly use will seem like stating the obvious. But the obvious scenarios deny this assertion any tangible proof of potency.
Many people have not really learnt how to reach out of their own egoistic selves and nature to other people’s egoistic self and nature. Hence, the word, ‘PLEASE’ still remains very important in our world today.
2. SORRY: The next magical statement after please is the word, ‘sorry’. The lack of this word is the source of bickerings, complaints, and endless naggings. It is a words that comes with responsibility.
“People don’t like taking responsibility that is why people don’t like saying, ‘sorry’.”-SOAL
This reminds me of the artiste Akon’s best hit tracks, “SORRY, BLAME IT ON ME” in which the opeing lyrics were the words, “trying to learn more and more about responsibility”.
I also remember saying “Sorry” simultaneous with the person I am trying hard to say “Sorry” to. This is in fact an infrequent occurrence and I know that, despite that fact, you experience it too (at least occasionally).
Husbands and wives quarrel endlessly sometimes with blows, other times with words and in some highly tensed and emotionally charged situations, just plain silence.
The person raking on and on about how expensive the shoe you marched was, how precious the plates you broke were, how what you did to them hurt them to their heart is simply demanding a simple ‘sorry’ from you and that would have taken care of the problem.
Never let a minor disagreement escalate into a full-fledged hatred, hostility, and resentment. Be humble and be sincerely honest with yourself and simply say, ‘sorry’.
What if you were not to be blamed for what happened? You ask. Akon in that his beautiful song said, ‘even though the blame is on you, I will take that blame on you and you can put that blame on me.’
Often we do not recognize that whoever is getting the blame is the getting the control and vice versa. It should be a thing of pleasure borne of understanding and not unnecessary endless pain to take blame for something wrong and simply say ‘sorry’.
Definitely we are not to be blamed for everything wrong in life and it is very unrealistic to take blame for every wrong done to everybody in the world. But I make it out to you that people would love you better and like sticking up and around you more when you are the quickest person to say ‘Sorry’ of all the other people in their lives.
This rare ability to muster the strength and resolve to say ‘sorry’ at every slight provocation will make you a Magical Person to be with because it is a Magical Word,”SORRY”.
I have lived happily and joyfully with very difficult people that other people considered ‘social disasters’, ‘brutes’ and ‘snobbish’ partially because of my understanding of the Magic in the word ‘Sorry’.
In fact, some of them immediately took an instant liking of me and even almost made me their best and most trusted friend. You can start cultivating this habit of saying ‘sorry’ anytime someone feels they have been offended by you and I guarantee you that a brand new chapter wiould open up in your life.
- THANK YOU: The last magical statement is “THANK YOU”. People (including myself) easily degenerate into habits of ingratitude over time after taking some favor, blessing or opportunity for granted.
We believe anytime we call, we will always get an answer and it is mandatory that we get an answer. We knock on doors we feel, for granted, will always open and so it becomes increasingly difficult for us to see the need to feel much less show gratitude for something that seems to be ‘always there’.
We take our parents for granted. We take our siblings for granted. We take our spouses for granted, some of us even take our children for granted. ‘Why not?’ we say, ‘after all they are my children and I’ll always have them’.
‘Thank You’ seems so little, so perfunctory, a passing phrase but its magical powers onn people are limitless. It brings you more favors, opportunities, blessings and most importantly, friends.
Most people (including myself) like to become friends with people who say thank you for every good done to them all the time. That singular ability makes them a rare breed of human being nobody wants to lose so easily.
And do you know the word, “THANK YOU!” can win you promotions at work? Try it today! And you’ll see the magic. May these three Magic Words bring you Good Luck this year! Please feel free to drop comments or contact me for other things you would like me to post here.
Thanks a Million!